Please read everything below, it should answer all your questions.
* Always message me before paying so we can discuss about the details. Don’t forget to tell me where you are from.
* If you want to buy many items, send me a message to get a quote. Don’t forget to tell me where are you from!
* Items are vacuum sealed and shipped from Quebec/Canada. Discreet packaging.
BUY MY POOP:
CANADA: shipping time will depend on how far you are from Quebec/Canada
– $90 XpressPost (1-3 business days)
– $110 Priority (1-2 business days)
USA***: shipping time will depend on how far you are from Quebec/Canada
– $100 Expedited (4-5 business days)
– $115 XpressPost (3-4 business days)
– $170 Priority (1-2 business days)
– $140 Tracked Packet (7 working days)
– $160 XpressPost (5 business days)
– $205 Priority
When parcel is shipped you will get tracking and will be able to know where your parcel is. Because sending poop by mail is prohibited, I will not put a real return address on the package.
***USA & International orders: There is always a small risk that your parcel will be opened by custom and confiscated. I you agree to pay for my poop, that means you are aware of that risk and willing to take the chance. ***
– peed on +$20
– poop stains +$20
– period panties +$20
WORNED SOCKS or PANTYHOSE:
Extras: Message me about it.
Other Dirty Stuff for sale:
– used tampons or pads
– used toilet paper
– toenail clippings
Minimum price for any order (so shipping fees are covered and I get some profit):
Message me so we can discuss about the details. Don’t forget to tell me where are you from.
Looking for something not on the list? Ask me about it!
DIRTY STUFF AVAILABLE FOR CANADIANS ONLY:
Baked goodies made with my poop and/or pee (Poop muffins, Poo Brownies, etc.): $60 minimum per order.
Pee: $60 minimum per order.
Message me so we can discuss about the details.
F.A.Q. – Frequently asked questions:
Q: Once my order is placed, how long will it take to process it and ship it out?
A: I cannot answer precisely to that question. Why? Because I usually poop between 2 to 5 times per week, not every day like most people. I may have another order to fulfill before yours (will let you know if that is the case). If I ship your order during the week end, it could cause some delay. If you choose Priority shipping I will not send the package on a Friday since you probably won’t receive it during the week end.
Q: Once shipped out, how long will it take to reach X_Location_ using X_shipping_method_?
A: All the info is above. Canada Post tells me it will take approx X_days, but I cannot garantee it will take exactly this amount of time. Shipping time will depend on how far you are from Quebec/Canada. Example: If you are from the West coast of Canada or the US, then don’t expect overnight shipping.
Q: Is there a shipping fee?
A: Again, all the info is above. Go read.
Q: Will my order come with a tracking number?
Q: What type of shit will I receive? How much poop will I receive?
A: Seriously?? How am I supposed to know exactly how my poop is going to be like? I cannot guarantee a specific shape, texture or size. I can only say that my poop is more frequently between type 2 and type 4 (Bristol Scale). But anything between type 1 and type 5 is possible. Type 6 and 7 is pretty rare. (If you prefer a specific texture, please let me know before ordering. There are some things I know I can do to control the texture of my shit up to a certain point, but it is not precise science. I’ll try my best.) For the size, I’ll make sure it is a reasonable amount. If I happen to poop a very small amount I won’t send it to you and I’ll wait till I produce my next poop.
Q: Will I get a video of you pooping and packaging my order?
A: You are basically asking for a custom video. I am asking $50 minimum for a 5 minutes vid of me pooping and packaging your order. If you want a longer video, add $10 per minute. (Want to order a more detailed custom video? Visit this page: https://www.scatshop.com/shop/custom-videos/custom-content-by-dirtymaryan/)
Q: Do you have any health issues (STD’s, HIV, HEP, parasites, etc)? When was the last time you took antibiotics?
A: No! I would not sell my poop if that was the case! For antibiotics, I can’t even remember, I haven’t been sick enough to take antibiotics since many years. Please note that even if I don’t have any health issues, eating/swallowing poop is not 100% risk free. I would not recommend eating my poop if you have a weak immune system.
Q: Can you watch me on cam eating your shit or playing with it?
A: Message me about it to make sure that I am confortable with what you are looking for. This will be a paid webcam session.
Q: Can you describe your diet/way of eating?
A: If I could describe my way of eating I would say it’s a mix between a Ketogenic/LCHF (Low Carb High Fat) and Zero Carb/Carnivore diet. I eat meat, poultry, fish and fat with a very small amount of vegetables and I drink water. What I eat the most is raw beef (I buy grass fed beef from a local farmer). That means no sugar, no fruits and no grains. I don’t eat a lot of fiber, that explains why I poop less often than most people (2 to 5 times a week). I sometimes eat more vegetables than usual or cheat a little and will poop more, but I prefer sticking to my way of eating.