Description

*** If you are looking to buy my pee or poop, I am only taking orders from Canadian customers right now. ***

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Please read everything below before contacting me, it should answer all your questions.

* Always message me before paying so we can discuss about the details. Don’t forget to tell me where you are from.
* If you want to buy many items, send me a message to get a quote. Don’t forget to tell me where are you from!
* Items are vacuum sealed and shipped from Quebec/Canada. Discreet packaging.

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BUY MY POOP:

CANADA: shipping time will depend on how far you are from Quebec/Canada
– 100$ XpressPost (1-3 business days)

USA***: shipping time will depend on how far you are from Quebec/Canada
– $125 XpressPost (2-4 business days)
– $175 Priority (1-2 business days)

International***:
– $150 XpressPost (5 business days)
– $200 Priority

When parcel is shipped you will get tracking and will be able to know where your parcel is. Because sending poop by mail is prohibited, I will not put a real return address on the package.

***USA & International orders: There is always a small risk that your parcel will be opened by custom and confiscated. I you agree to pay for my poop, that means you are aware of that risk and willing to take the chance. ***
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DIRTY PANTIES:

Canada: $60
USA: $70
International: $80

Extras:
– peed on +$20
– poop stains +$20
– period panties +$20
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WORNED SOCKS or PANTYHOSE:

Canada: $60
USA: $70
International: $80

Extras: Message me about it.
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Other Dirty Stuff for sale:
– used tampons or pads
– used toilet paper
– toenail clippings
– etc.

Minimum price for any order (so shipping fees are covered and I get some profit):
Canada: $60
USA: $70
International: $80

Message me so we can discuss about the details. Don’t forget to tell me where are you from.

Looking for something not on the list? Ask me about it!
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DIRTY STUFF AVAILABLE FOR CANADIANS ONLY:

Baked goodies made with my poop and/or pee (Poop muffins, Poo Brownies, etc.): $60 minimum per order.

Pee: $60 minimum per order.

Message me so we can discuss about the details.
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F.A.Q. – Frequently asked questions:

Q: Once my order is placed, how long will it take to process it and ship it out?
A: I cannot answer precisely to that question. Why? Because I usually poop between 2 to 5 times per week, not every day like most people. I may have another order to fulfill before yours (will let you know if that is the case). If I ship your order during the week end, it could cause some delay. If you choose Priority shipping I will not send the package on a Friday since you probably won’t receive it during the week end.

Q: Once shipped out, how long will it take to reach X_Location_ using X_shipping_method_?
A: All the info is above. Canada Post tells me it will take approx X_days, but I cannot garantee it will take exactly this amount of time. Shipping time will depend on how far you are from Quebec/Canada. Example: If you are from the West coast of Canada or the US, then don’t expect overnight shipping.

Q: Is there a shipping fee?
A: Again, all the info is above. Go read.

Q: Will my order come with a tracking number?
A: Yes.

Q: What type of shit will I receive? How much poop will I receive?
A: Seriously?? How am I supposed to know exactly how my poop is going to be like? I cannot guarantee a specific shape, texture or size. I can only say that my poop is more frequently between type 2 and type 4 (Bristol Scale). But anything between type 1 and type 5 is possible. Type 6 and 7 is pretty rare. (If you prefer a specific texture, please let me know before ordering. There are some things I know I can do to control the texture of my shit up to a certain point, but it is not precise science. I’ll try my best.) For the size, I’ll make sure it is a reasonable amount. If I happen to poop a very small amount I won’t send it to you and I’ll wait till I produce my next poop.

Q: Will I get a video of you pooping and packaging my order?
A: You are basically asking for a custom video. Lowest price I will charge is $25 for a video of me pooping without showing my face. If you want to see my face then I am asking for $50 minimum for a 5 minutes simple video of me pooping and packaging your order. If you want a longer video, add $10 per minute. Want to order a more detailed custom video? Visit this page for more information and send me your request: https://www.scatshop.com/shop/custom-videos/custom-content-by-dirtymaryan/)

Q: Do you have any health issues (STD’s, HIV, HEP, parasites, etc)? When was the last time you took antibiotics?
A: No! I would not sell my poop if that was the case! For antibiotics, I can’t even remember, I haven’t been sick enough to take antibiotics since many years. Please note that even if I don’t have any health issues, eating/swallowing poop is not 100% risk free. I would not recommend eating my poop if you have a weak immune system and I do not recommend smearing if you have open wounds.

Q: Can you watch me on cam eating your shit or playing with it?
A: Message me about it to make sure that I am confortable with what you are looking for. This will be a paid webcam session.

Q: Can you describe your diet/way of eating?
A: If I could describe my way of eating I would say it’s a mix between a Ketogenic/LCHF (Low Carb High Fat) and Zero Carb/Carnivore diet. I eat meat, poultry, fish and fat with a very small amount of vegetables and I drink water. What I eat the most is raw beef (I buy grass fed beef from a local farmer). That means no sugar, no fruits and no grains. I don’t eat a lot of fiber, that explains why I poop less often than most people (usually 2 to 4 times a week). I sometimes eat more vegetables than usual or cheat a little and will poop more, but I prefer sticking to my way of eating. My weakness: potato chips and french fries!!

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